Uber Chronicles 1

Welcome to the TSB Uber Chronicles. Recently, with the children all moved out I have taken up a hobby in driving Uber. The Uber Chrinicles will take you along with me on my nightly journey. 

  1. Nana: The first ride tonight was an elderly women. Very sweet and friendly. She asked if we could go pick up her son around the corner as she was taking him out for his birthday. Upon her sons arrival to the car she says to him, “Ooh, you got started already I smell.” He looks to me and ask for a Mint!!!! Sir! Ain’t no mint covering that Booze. For the rest of the ride they talked about the relation of the Civil Rights movement and its relation to the Trump Presudency. Ughhhhhhhhhhh. Gag Me!
  2. The Drunks: Ride two was a couple in full blast party mode. They sat in back side by side and decided to give me the blues. She played Siri and gave me the directions as she claimed to know a shorter way. As she did that he decided to tell me about his drinking festivities and ask me if I was sober! Sir! What do you think as I sit here smelling your drunken monkey lookin ass? They were cool but weird. I’m just glad the ride was quick. 
  3. The Scholar: He comes to the car sighing. He had worked all day and just got out of class. He has 2 weeks left for his MBA and is on a mission. He just got Married a few months ago and now his wife is due in April with their first child. Let me just say, sir this is not the moment of Getting to know you. Please keep your key aspects for Life
  4. Brothers: These 2 were my Fav for the night. The older brother came to visit the little brother for the weekend. They went to a soul food restaurant for dinner and were ready to go back to the house. On their way home they get a text to go to the bar. They decide to go home because older brother had 7% and younger brother had 21%. Now, No shade to the Battery Life Brothers, however, I need them to start bringing their chargers out when they hit the city. 
  5. The last ride for my day went to, The Odd Couple. These two are coming from a Fund Raiser in the ugliest outfits ever. During their ride they discuss how none of the paintings sold and they were surprised as they were all beautiful. She said that the few paintings that did sell were under $450. At this point, it was time for her to cut the shytt as I noticed she didn’t buy and paintings either. The she says to him, “I’m going to need your help taking this hair down. This is a very intricate……….. Bush Where???? If she don’t go on with that basic ass school teacher bun. She betta just say she wanna get nasty and have him pull her hair. 

This was my night. Which ride was your favorite?????

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